12oz of Sobriety

Coping Skills

August 12, 2022 Pat, Robbie, and Carson Season 1 Episode 15
12oz of Sobriety
Coping Skills
Show Notes Transcript

On today’s episode we take a deeper dive into coping mechanisms that can be applied during heavy triggering moments. We walk through a few core practices that are easily applicable and necessary when push comes to shove. 

 Yoyo what's up. Welcome to 12 ounces of sobriety podcast. I'm pat sharp here with my wonderful cohost. This is Carson and Robbie is still out with COVID. Unfortunately, if you made it through all the way through the end of our previous episode, you heard us discuss that. If we get to 200, five star reviews on a combination of apple and Spotify.

I will shave my beard off into just a mustache. Leave it for an entire month. And Carson even got me to agree to post a, uh, topless selfie of myself with the mustache onto our Twitter and Instagram. It's gonna be good stuff, you know, we're gonna share it. Um, you know, it's gonna come, it's gonna become viral.

So I'm really looking forward to that. You know, pat is exposing his, uh, secrets as we talked about in the last episode. So, uh, also, uh, just want the viewers to know that or the listeners to know that we are very dedicated to our craft because we just recorded our first episode, uh, for about 50 minutes and realized that something, uh, went wrong and it didn't record.

So here we are round two. Um, Yeah. You know, uh, well, what went wrong was I forgot to hit the button. That's records, everything I wasn't gonna call you out, but yeah, that's what happened. So here, here we are again. Yes. Um, looking forward to it, uh, really didn't, uh, really didn't wanna do it once, once, and I was really looking to do it twice, so yeah, we're, we're pumped.

Good thing though. We're talking about coping skills. Yeah, we are. And you can use these coping skills to deal with your frustration and the fact that we just recorded an entire episode. So it didn't hit record. So many coping skills are gonna be used. So with coping skills, the reason we wanna talk about those we've, we've talked about 'em before, but 

we wanna do a little deeper dive on them because when we were out in active addiction, our only coping skills were using. If you were upset, if you were. Tired. If you were angry, you would drink and you never addressed any of your issues head on. And so that's why. Now being sober or getting sober or in early sobriety, you need to learn how to deal with the Gries and find some good coping skills for that, you know, start out the first, you know, coping skills is, uh, distractions, which , what distractions can do is they could take your mind.

Whatever's bothering you. Granted you're not fixing anything and it can be a temporary, temporary relief of your issues. Common distract, distracting things, watching TV, watching a, a pointless movie playing a video game. A. Worthless chat with somebody where you're just talking to kill time. Yeah. I mean, like you said, just distractions are not gonna propel yourself, uh, you know, from a growth standpoint, but that doesn't mean that it's gonna hurt you.

Um, if you do have something, you know, it can be a, it can be a multitude of different things that you have under your, you know, in your arsenal, uh, to be able to get you through from point a to point B. You know, one of my biggest things was, um, you know, when I was alone or, uh, when I didn't, you know, had some free time on my hands, my first inclination was to drink and I needed something to be able to get me through, into my next activity, whether it be from work into dinner or from, you know, golfing into what we were doing that night, you know, I had this empty time.

On my hands. And so being able to have something such as maybe a pointless game, um, you know, as I'd mentioned on the first recording that we did, uh  that, uh, I was using a, um, I had this game. That's like, you have the two pictures.  and you literally figure out the difference between the two of 'em so simple.

It's stupid, but it's awesome. And so I like to get, you know, it's a mindless thing that I can do, uh, to distract myself in order to get me, you know, throughout, you know, whether it be 30 minutes, whether it be two hours, it doesn't really matter. Uh, so it's nice to be out of distractions and there are a ton of 'em.

So, you know, write it down or create something that you have is say, Hey, you know, Hey, I, um, you know, I had this empty, you know, this free time on my hands, or, you know, I'm going through something I'm stressed. What can I do? That doesn't involve drinking or using to, to really, you know, get me through this time in a, in a, at least a conducive way to not, you know, relapse or to go to something that I don't wanna do.

Yeah. You know, I play a game, I play this dump bingo game on my phone. It each game's only two minutes long, so you're engaged kind of in it. And it's nothing more than a distraction. It's not helping me in life whatsoever, but. As I had mentioned previously at night, we both live very busy lives with work and with our recovery programs and doing this podcast, by the time I get home at night, sometimes I'm just tired and I'll just put on the TV and, and because I need a distraction from the day.

Yeah. And, and yeah, I mentioned, you know, my wife plays Yachty, you know, that's her, that's her getaway. So, you know, you have a little Yachty game on your phone and. It, it it's something that's just, you know, they, the way that these designers created it, it creates these, you know, flashes and these, these sounds and all these things that are able to, you know, really juicy up and get you and get your brain excited and, and it, and they do it for a reason and it keeps you engaged.

It keeps you, um, You know, it keeps you invested in it and you know, sometimes that's a good thing, you know, you don't wanna fall into it and, you know, get addicted to that either. But that's why gambling is. So that's why gambling is so addictive, right? Yeah. It's like you go to a casino and it's just, it keeps you invested.

And so do something like that. That's just, you know, it's not gonna hurt you. And sometimes time heals. And so if you need some time just to get through something, sometimes a distraction can help there. Yeah. You know, for the pros of, of those, it gives yourself a, a little bit of a break. Um, it can cost some short term relief, but you know, the cons of distractions is you can't do it for too long and it hon honestly doesn't resolve any underlying issues that might be there.

Good for temporary use sparingly. Yes. Use distractions sparingly. Yeah. Don't solve your addiction issues. As far as your underlying causes of why you used addiction. Don't just distract yourself all the time because you can't distract yourself a hundred percent of the time you got, you're gonna have to deal with your issues.

At some point, the problems do still need to be addressed, but it's a nice coping mechanism for a, you know, a specific and temporary period of. Yep. And so, uh, next is grounding, which is kind of get outta your head and, and get into your body and the world a little bit. Use your body as far as your senses, talk about, you know, touch and feel.

For example, sometimes when you're feeling anxious, they say. Just close your eyes for a minute, take one hand and rub it on your opposite arm up and down. Because by just that touch, it does trigger a different part of the brain and can kinda help shift the focus off of something else. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I was saying earlier was, uh, Headspace, you know, that's something that I've, um, You know, I implement, implemented into my life a couple times or, you know, a couple years back.

And, uh, you know what it is, the guy who, you know, who created it, uh, he has a, you know, phenomenally soothing voice and he doesn't talk that much, but you're able to, um, really just set yourself apart from the world for just, you know, five or 10, 15 minutes. And what you, what he encourages you to do is to try and not forcefully shut out, you know, your thoughts and your, you know, everything that's going on in your brain.

But. Really passively do it and, and recognize them, recognize that they're there, but, but also making an effort to, uh, be, just be, you know, just exist for, you know, that period of time, you know, recognize the smells, the senses that you have, you know, touch the, the, you know, maybe there's air or, you know, air, you know, flowing through, you know, maybe from a ceiling fan or, or air conditioning or whatever that looks like.

Being able to be mindful, recognizing and appreciating all of the little things that are going on in your life. It really helps to cope with that and get through, you know, some craving that you might be dealing with at the current moment.  One of the things that we discuss all the time in our rehab program that we did was a thing called Turkey breathing. And what that is, is basically think about when you were a kid, it was Thanksgiving time and you would trace your hand to draw a picture of a Turkey. And so you're gonna take your hand just like that.

And you're gonna use your index finger on the opposite hand, and you're gonna. Start, you know, at the base of your thumb, go up your thumb and down it, up your index finger and down it and so on, but basically what you're doing do it slowly. And you're taking a deep breath in as you go up and that slow exhale out as you go down and go back and forth because you're doing a couple different things.

One you're concentrating on your breathing to that touch sensation is being absorbed as well. And so it can really take your mind off of something else and 

deep breathing has calming effects. Yeah. Calming effects for you. And if you are stressed or anxious, something like that. And so kind of by doing that, you're, you're triggering a, a few different things, right? Yeah. When I was going through, I mean, I've had, you know, on and off anxiety for the majority of my life, as I'm sure millions of people.

can say as well. Um, but I read something a few years back and it said, you know, every time you go to the bathroom, when you're washing your hands, take three deep breaths to yourself in the mirror, just take, you know, seven seconds in and seven seconds out and do that three times every single time you're washing your hands.

And it said, look at it as like three little gifts to yourself. And I loved that because it's a pause. You you're gonna go to the bathroom multiple times a. You know, for some, it might be three for some of it might be a thousand, I don't know, but whenever you're going do that and it's, it's a nice, you, you have a set time in your daily schedule to be able to.

10 seconds, 15 seconds to deep breathe, to decompress and to kind of restart if you will. And it's been very helpful and I highly encourage anybody who is, you know, whether it's addiction or whether it's anxiety and depression implement that into your life or something like that into your life. Um, just making an effort to deep breathe and to take time to gift yourself in some very small.

Yeah. And with that kind of, with the breathing, one of the things I'm not at, it's not something I'm really into. I know I need to work on a little bit more is meditation or a guided meditation, the guided meditation, you know, where you're working on that controlled breathing. You're also listening to somebody else and you're kind of really in the moment.

And your mind's off your issues, your deep breathing, you're listening to the guided meditation. That can be very relaxing and very beneficial and helpful. Right. And, uh, you know what I was saying earlier was. You know, you look at music and, um, you know, I, I'm a big fan of music. Most people are, and I listen to all kinds of music, but one particular genre of music that I like when I try to is if, if I either, you know, I'm feeling, uh, introspective or, you know, just somewhat thoughtful.

And I wanna just relax and not, um, either, either not. Or think in a certain way of just kind of contemplating life or, you know, whatever category you wanna put that into it, it, I think the genre's called post rock, but one example that I have is explosions in the sky. Um, they wrote in saying the intro to Friday night lights.

One of my favorite shows is there lyrics to that? There's no lyrics to it. Yeah. Okay. So they, that band specifically they're, they're just instrument. But the way that they structure their music, is it, it it's not flat, but it is, it is, it is calming and the way, and there are a lot of bands out there that are, that are very similar, but, uh, putting on something like that, it enables you to still, you know, gather your thoughts.

You're not distracted by any lyrics or any, you know, jumpy music, but. It's something nice and soothing to be able to, you know, kind of get the brain flowing to sit back and just to think, and, and relax quite frankly. And so U utilizing, whether it be music, whether it be meditation or, or, you know, just peaceful sounds.

I mean, at this day and age you have YouTube, you know, you have Spotify, you have apple music, you have all kinds of things where people have created, you know, calm and serene types of, um, you know, sounds and music that you can have in the background that really promote, um, relaxation and, and.

Introspection and, and just taking, taking a step away from all the craziness of the world. Yeah. How many people use sounds like that for sleeping?  I don't, but a lot of people do. I mean, there is all kinds of relaxing sounds out there and, you know, kind of with this, you know, getting all your senses involved, go outside and walk barefoot and like feel the grass on your feet.

The wind blowing that the air mm-hmm  the smells, you know, the outside has some fantastic smells. Cut grasses, freshly cut grass. One of the greatest smells ever, or. A charcoal grill with grilling meat or vegetables are fantastic. A, a bonfire smells great. Yeah. You just appreciate it. Yeah. And appreciate, you know, it, we talked about this earlier.

I'm gonna keep saying that because I'm very bitter that we've recorded this once already, but I may cut that. I'm just kidding, but you know, it's not a lot of exercise, but it's exercise nonetheless, and you're able to move your body a little bit and your body loves that. And you're able to still reap a lot of the benefits from, from just moving from, from slight exercise.

You're walking. You, you, like you said, you're, you're getting all the senses going. You're smelling. You're you're feeling you. Decompressing a lot and you're just appreciating what's around you because oftentimes we're, we're so damn busy that we don't take a step back and appreciate it. And so going on a walk is very in, especially in a nice area where, whether it be a park, whether it be your backyard or the mountains.

I mean, even if you'll go, you know, go through the city, appreciate the structures that are around you appreciate what man has been given the capabilities of doing it. Doesn't matter what it looks like or what really tickles your fancy. Just do it and, and you'll, you'll, it'll go a long way for you. And to quickly touch on that, uh, on the point that you made about, you know, sleeping.

Do you wanna know what sound I listened to? What is that?

What is the hell? It's just white noise.  

My wife played it for the first time and I was like, what the hell is this? And I was like, she's like, it's white noise. This really good. And I adapted it now. I can't sleep without it. See, I tried one time. I think I was like, sounds. The ocean or rain or something. That's good too. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it.

I don't know why. No rain, I love it. If it's raining outside the fake rain noise coming off of a, whatever I think was on my phone. No, I don't know. I'm weird like that, I guess, but that is a weird guy. Well, I think we just moved into the distraction category by talking about sounds all right. Bring it on the perfect segue.

well, yeah. So think about that. As far as, you know, the grounding goes, think about activating your senses, whether it's touch or feel. Or smell sight taste. Sometimes if you're triggered or something, pop little candy into your mouth, it can, at least it might help distract you enough with, or, or trigger a different part of your brain.

Use meditation, yoga use walking, even intense exercise. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it pop in the candy, your mouth, whether, you know, butterscotch or lifesaver, pat, why did they call it a life?  so the reason they call it a lifesaver is if you choke on it, there's the hole in the center and you can still breathe.

Amazing. Who knew that? Not me, but yeah. Throw a lifesaver in it. It's not gonna completely, um, rid yourself of the. Uh, you know, the craving that you might have, but it's gonna do enough to be able to get you through and pair that with something else, you know, throw a lifesaver in, uh, go for a walk or, you know, do something that, that distracts you, you know, whatever that may be.

But there's these small things that can kind of, um, ease your senses a little bit and, and at least give you some sort of gratification. Yeah. And a. There are get yourself a scented candle that you love, the smell of something that calms you and relaxes you as well. That can be very beneficial also. Yeah.

Be like Jan Levinson in the office, you know, whenever I feel stressed, serenity by Jan tired, you know, I just go upstairs and smell my candles, just like that. Just like that. Poof. You smell 'em you buy 'em. Yeah, that's what she said.  All right, next, we'll get into emotional release yell, scream, run, uh, a cold shower. Even let yourself cry. Some sob, even laugh. Get your emotions. Whether, you know, let's say you're feeling pissed off and angry, put on a comedy special, put on something funny, find something to laugh about.

If you're just overly frustrated, go yell or scream loudly, go hit a punching bag that saved my life. Yes. I mean, seriously, like I'm not even trying to be funny. It, it, I was so angry for such a long period of time and I, you know, I took it out on a, punch it back. I learned how to fight to a certain extent, not a lot, you know, I only have a couple years of training.

So, you know, it is what it is, but I learned enough to where I could let all my frustrations out. And when I got home after a good training session for an hour, an hour and a. I was too tired to be angry. And I'm not saying that to tire yourself out, so you don't feel emotions, but that was something where I was able to take my anger and put it towards something productively.

I was still working out. I was, you know, I was, I was exercising. I was letting out a lot of frustration, healthily, not on anybody, not on a wall, not on a door. And then I could go home and actually relax for once. And the next day it kind of started over again. But that was something that I needed at that time.

I don't need it now. Occasionally a punch bag really helps. And it, you know, it's a hundred dollars investment and, you know, do something like that. It doesn't have to be that, but use something that you can healthily, let out your anger in. There are rooms.  in Charlotte. I know. And probably ma most major cities where you pay 30 bucks and you go destroy stuff.

Yes. They give you, uh, they give you goggles. And I don't even how, I don't know what it is. And you can just literally tear the shit outta stuff. Yep. I mean, just do it like whatever, you know, do or do some pullups don't do it to your own stuff or somebody else's stuff. Don't. You'll get in trouble. We're not saying that he's talking about a place where you're allowed to do that.

Yeah. The environment is created for you to destroy stuff and let at your frustrations. You know, I enjoy just being out in nature. Sometimes I feel like that's an emotional, emotional relief for me. Um,  something as simple as bubble wrap, popping, bubble wrap, . Um,  so do something that expresses your emotion.  outwardly. Yeah. And it, it, I'm not saying that women don't struggle with this, but men due to a larger extent, but we're, we're kind of taught to keep your emotions in and be brute and be manly or whatever.

And that's just not the case. You know, we we've developed, we've cultivated such a great. Community within our, uh, group therapy that we go to and you can find this really anywhere, but being able to be vulnerable and share with other people, your struggles. I mean, them using them as a crutch and, and allowing them to use you as a crutch.

It benefits both parties, you know, it, it, uh, it lets out a lot of the underlying feelings that you're covering up. And when you cover stuff up, it eats you up. So being able to share that, being able to empathize with other people. And as I said in the last podcast that we recorded, you know, 40 minutes ago is we do this for numerous reasons.

Number one, we wanna help people, but also we're helping ourselves by helping other people. Um, and that's a, that's an amazing way. It's an not, it's an unselfish way. To be able to help yourself because we genuinely want to touch any lives that we possibly can. And that's how you, that's what you get from a community.

Um, and so it, and it's also comforting to be able to hear that other people are going through just the same thing. Yeah, absolutely. The main 12 step program in recovery, one of the main things that they talk about the best way to help yourself is to help a fellow addict. And I am a firm believer in. One of the reasons we're doing this is we're trying to help as many people as we can.

One, I enjoy helping people, but two, it is helping with my own sobriety. Yeah. I wouldn't be doing it if it was a hindrance on my sobriety. Yeah. And, and because if you are not good in your own sobriety journey, you're not gonna be capable of helping other people. So you have to, you have to ensure that you're good yourself, cuz otherwise it's not gonna do any.

It's not gonna go do any good for any anybody else. So it's you. It helps both sides and, and it all works together in coalition. Yeah. And another thing you can do for emotional release, you know, start a journal, write a poem, write yourself a song, sing. You can't play the guitar or like music or anything.

Yeah. Paint, make a drawing. I have no artistic or musical abilities, so I don't do any of those. I wish I could, but I, I know a lot of people that we went to are recovery with that are into art and some of the stuff that they painted representing them in addiction versus them sober. It was absolutely stunning.

It was, it was be. This, this podcast is the closest thing to artistic as pat and I will ever get in our entire lives. We're both very right-brained. We are mathematical. We are salesman. Yep. Uh, and that's just how we were born. Um, we have gifts, but our gifts are not creativity and that's okay. We're still finding our outlet.

We're still finding a way to be as creative as we possibly can. Um, but for those of you, and there's a lot of you. Definitely have capabilities that we do not have use that as a use that as a weapon, use that as something that you can really, uh, you know, put effort towards and to create something beautiful.

That's it's gonna help you in, in so many different ways. Yeah. That's a true way to really, when you're creating something and two, you're creating something with the emotions that you feel and the benefits that you get from that are, are unreal. Yeah. And so, you know, when you talk about getting emotions out, yelling and screaming and, and hitting, hitting stuff,  So think about some of those things. If you, to kind of help guide you through your sobriety process, especially early on. And another thing that can help another coping skill area is doing some self care and self love. You know, when we were in active addiction, we were not taking good care of ourselves.

I know I wasn't. I know. I wasn't doing the necessary things that you should do as a human being, um, you know, make sure you're waking up every morning or every night, taking a shower, brushing your teeth, make your bed, go get manicures and pedicures for those out there that enjoy doing that. Uh, get a massage.

Look at all the money and you're saving from drinking in think of something you wanna save up and buy yourself, treat yourself you deserve it. That's one thing like don't buy anything, drugs or alcohol or any do anything illegal, but find something kind of cool, something unique that you want and treat yourself to it.

We talk about using the excuse of, I deserve it. You are not allowed to use that. However, if it's not immoral, if it's not illegal and if it's not towards your a. We give you a free pass to use that, treat yourself. Um, our therapist recently gave us a, a, a wheel chart, um, you know, and it, and it segmented, you know, self-care to numerous different categories.

So there was physical, there was emotional, there was, you know, all, all the cat, you know, I think it was like eight or nine, uh, and kind of gave you a list of. You know, different things that you can do, whether it be GI getting massage or, you know, uh, going to treat yourself to a nice meal or really anything like that.

 My point is, but there are a lot of things that you can, you know, implement, uh, and that you can do to that were, are actually very pleasurable, um, that don't do not involve drinking. Um, and it's small things too, you know, like we've talked about going on a walk or, you know, maybe there's a nice frozen yogurt place down the street that you really enjoy talking to, uh, the person that works.

Yeah. You know, you enjoy those a lot more. . Or go think of your favorite dinner, you know, treat yourself to your favorite dinner or favorite launch or favorite. Breakfast not, I'm not telling you to do that every single day, but you know, make it a special occasion. Treat yourself a little bit. Yeah. In a movie. I mean, and you know, there's a, there's a stigma still out there like, oh, this person's going to a movie alone or this person's going to dinner alone.

They must be like, no, F like, screw that go be alone. Sometimes, you know, alone is nice. And if you want to go to a movie and just kick back and relax or go to a nice dinner and, uh, just enjoy it and all the flavors and the, and the whole process of it and, and being served, you know, Just go do that and spend a couple hours and just be, have some me time.

Um, you know, and, and if you're not paying for somebody else, you can, you can spend that much more on yourself. Yeah. My me time is generally golfing. Yeah. I love the golf course that I talked about. Loving nature. I love being outside. I have a competitive streak in me, so I enjoy doing competitive things.

So for me, that is a, some self-care and self love is I treat myself to golf.

And then we'll go to next is, uh, thought challenge, challenging your, your mind a little bit, you know, talk, think about your feelings and write 'em down. Think about all the negative aspects of your life. Things that might be bothering you and, and struggling with. And then. Take those and pretend that it's a family member that, or a loved one that are having the exact same issues and they're coming to you for advice on them.

What would you tell them? How would you help them out and kind of do some self-reflection a little bit and work on work on some of those problems in that way, you know, really start breaking 'em down. Think about it a little. It's always easier to give other people advice when you're not directly involved.

You know, a, when you're given advice to a third party, you know, you're detached somewhat to the situation and you can give your full blown opinion because it doesn't directly affect you and then attempt, you know, doing that. And you give yourself the right answer, whether you like it or not. You're able to give yourself in a, a mostly objective answer that does not involve your own personal feelings.

honestly, that's probably what you should do, whether it hurts or not. And so being able to take a step back and what would I tell my sister this, you know, this is me personally saying that is like, if I were, if I were to tell Savannah this.  then I should probably do it myself in this particular situation.

Yeah. 100%. Also, one of the things too is, is have a group of support around you or somebody you can reach out to or community of some sort. We keep talking about our community that we have. Around us. Uh, granted we got that community through a rehab program, but I also have this, you know, family support as well.

I have my community at my 12 step program and have advice to where let's say you do that exercise where you write down all the negative things. And you think about the advice you would give somebody else with those problems and talk though, talk that through with somebody else. See what they have to say.

Sometimes I think in life we put the blinders on a little bit and we only look at things one way and sometimes somebody else can, can look at something completely different. Yeah. It's good to have a, it's good to have a team of people. Um, that are on your side and they don't necessarily have to have gone through the same things that you do, but they entrust you, you know, in you.

Um, they, they believe in you, um, they respect you and, and you respect them. And so when you have people like that, that you're able to, you know, be fully vulnerable with when you're able to bounce ideas off with when you're to bounce your trauma off with and vice versa. You know, that's able to release a lot of the things that as we mentioned earlier, that you, you know, tend, we, that we tend to swipe under the rug that we tend to block out of our lives.

And, uh, that that's never a good idea. So, you know, have that safety net of people, um, have people that you can really share ideas with and share your feelings and thoughts, uh, with, so that you can work through things together. I mean, that's why relationships are one of the biggest things in our lives.

And so before you, you know, hit that rock bottom or way before that, um, Take advantage of, of the people in your lives and not in a bad way, not in a malicious way, take advantage of the relationship. And, but also reciprocate, you know, this is a two way street here. So, um, you know, really enjoy that, that experience with people and enjoy, um, being able to get through life with people because quite frankly, there's not enough people in life to be real.

And you gotta find that, but once you do find that take advantage of that. Yeah, absolutely. Because the worst thing to do is just go through life, being miserable. That's why we quit drinking because we were truly miserable and we were looking to escape the misery that become our lives. And I have found that I have 100% escape that misery and it's continued.

I have to continue to work on that every day to stay sober and to stay happy and stay positive with my outlook on life. But I it's so much better than it was in active addiction. And I'm sure everybody that's been an active addiction would agree. Yeah. And honestly, trying to learn to laugh at all the, the crap that's going on in your life.

I know it's not easy sometimes, and it's not funny, but laugh at it because you can beat it. You're better than that. Give it the finger. Um, you know, we are better than the things that happened to us. Um, I know it's hard, you know, we've all, every, when I say we, I mean, everybody who's ever existed has gone through some really shitty times, but learn to learn from it, learn to laugh at it and learn to say, you know, Kiss my ass and, and, and move on and grow from it and be better than that.

Whatever that experience is be better than it. Hey Carson. Hey, is that glass half full over there? Uh, I think it is pat. It is half full. Wow. That's crazy.  yeah. Always look at the glasses, half full, not half empty. The, a positive mindset will, will get you a long way. It, it truly will. You know, and, and that kind of goes back with all these things.

What you're trying to do is when you are coping skills in general, you're trying to, to. Work your way through issues, work your way through problems and come out more positive on the other side. Yeah. And, and this is my own personal opinion. And pat, I don't know if you agree or disagree, but when we say positive thinking, I'm not saying, act like everything's okay.

And act like everything was, oh, this was, you know, no. When we say positive thinking again, I'm gonna reiterate this. Will you say that you're better than this? You can look at something objectively and say that freaking sucked. That that's just a fact, you know, but that sucked, and this is gonna ruin my life and I'm never going anywhere.

That's negative thinking or that sucked. Um, you know, I hate everything that's happened, but you know, what I'm gonna do is I'm going to Trump. This, I am going to do the X, Y, and Z to make myself better. That's positive thinking. So I wanted to make that clear. It's not, everything is okay all the time, because not everything is okay all the time.

We still wanna be realistic about stuff, but positive thinking from the standpoint, Understanding and using that as a, as a superpower from a certain extent and just, and, and getting past it and being strong and, and just not letting that deter you or bring you down. Yeah, absolutely. Because pick and ops never gonna fix anything.

No, absolutely not. You know, and this kind of goes along with this, but our last one we're gonna discuss here is activate your higher self. Become a kinder, nicer person, hold a door open for somebody, smile and wave at strangers as you pass them. When you know that there's somebody in one of my meetings that calls it a God hug, that when you do an random act of kindness and you get that.

Good warm and fuzzy feeling over you. They call it a God hug. So never heard that. Yeah, that's interesting. I kind of like it. And so, uh, you know, find, do some good things to, you know, get a God hug. Um, you know, you can volunteer, you can. Show up to your meetings a little early and make sure the coffee's ready.

You can stay after and help clean up. Just there's so many random, small acts of kindness. You can do that. If you do, 'em you're gonna feel better as a person. Like I said, whether it's making sure when you walk into a gas station that there's nobody coming or going behind you or in front of you where you can open the door for them.

Um, Donating to a charity. If you have extra money or volunteering your time, even if you don't have much time doing it once or twice a year for an hour or two is, is huge. And.  , if you have trash always throw it away, something as simple as that, or if you find a wrapper on the ground, even though you didn't put it there, pick it up and, and put it in the trash, always kind of look to leave everything you see and touch better than what you found.

It is basically kind what that is. Yeah.. So with that, we're gonna wrap it up since we recorded the same episode, basically twice, even though we, the first one's better.

And I don't know, maybe it wasn't, it, it was better, but I think we got our points across on this one too. Give us, uh, five stars pull on apple and Spotify. If we get 200 combined, you guys get a prize. Check us out on Instagram and Twitter at 12 ounces, sobriety podcast, Gmail, or email 12 ounces, sobriety, pod, gmail.com, GI mail.com.

Any questions, comments, anything like that? Feel free to reach out. We'd love getting feedback from you guys. We actually enjoy getting questions, uh, from you that we can answer. And with that, we will. Next week we got an interview next week, Monday, Monday. Yep. So I'll be out Tuesday's episode. Everybody have a fantastic weekend.

Thank you. We'll see you.